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If I?

When you change your life, you get feelings. When You've made mistakes, you get feelings. Also, what I write isn't always 100% about me, Ican put myself into emotional spaces. And this one took

A turn I wasn't expecting.

This one is a work in progress

Today my failures haunt me

Chipping at my soul

Planting saplings of doubt

And anxiety pangs I cannot dispel

What if?

If I?

Endless churning in my mind

Gnawing at me from inside

The weight of insignificance

Presses into me and whispers

You don’t have to go on like this

What if?

If I?

I sabotaged those still smoldering bridges

With such callous confidence

Because returning seemed unthinkable

Even though doing so would ease my pain

What if?

If I?

Distance and silence fill my days

As those once held dear

Had to go away

For their own sanity

What if?

If I?

Just another story of addiction

Filling the void with

Substances physical and ethereal

Dulling the pain for a bit

What if?

If I?

In the darkest moments

I am surprised

By what appears in my thoughts

What if I gave into the dark?

Would anyone even notice?

If I?

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