Fusion

Updated: Nov 9, 2022

I wrote this on shrooms. Nature's cure to everything.

As I was typing I kept typing faster on my laptop keyboard. And I started making errors and it got me very anxious and I felt a tension in my body because I could not get things out at the speed of my thought. I remember thinking I need an assistant to record and transcribe all this.

But--from that frustration came some interesting results. Just know, when you see all CAPS, it is because I was smashing each of those keys one by one.

I am so many levels of recursion

Without branching

Conditions identical

To give a race condition

Or that an infinite loop

Infinite loop

OOM Killer

There are two kinds feedback mechanisms: positive and negative.

A negative feedback mechanism by definition resolves to zero.

But a positive feedback loop - is, by definition, infinity

assuming you don't blow up in the process

And I am

A receiver and amplifier

With very low signal to noise ratio

Nearing the zero that is the unattainable goal

A perfect positive feedback loop

Whether the input is positive or negative

A positive feedback loop

Will amplify

And magnify

But my multiplier is set to nearly 1

So I can feel everything as I build and build

I cannot wait to share

My egoless self

With you and bring you in this healing journey

That we all so desperately need

Feed me input and I’ll absorb it

Cleanse it reflect it

Purify it

And give it back to you

Because I’m a safe space for anyone

That needs to know they are ok

And that I love you

As the perfect imperfect imprint

If your parents

And your trauma is not you

You are not your trauma

It is separate because you did not give consent

You could

Not give consent

Yo whatever violation

Scarred you held you back

Made you feel unworthy

I am here for you

Lay your troubles down

And come in over.

Said the Brothers Gibb

But I have zero total harmonic distortion

And I feel down to infinity

Singularity

With every single sense and fiber that is me and I am in this moment and will not hit enter until I am through it because I want you to know how integrated I am and how I feel connected to everything and that means you. I care about you. I’ve never met you. But I care. I am all of us. And, by definition, I am you

And I will

Amplify you

And magnify you

And use my natural equalizer

The adjust every nuance of you that you project

That extra enter was not the completion of my

Declaration

Of validation

Recognition

Resolution

Reaction

Interpretation.

In every fiber

Dermal and sub

Sub cutaneous

Marrow

MARROW

Crucible

Incubation

ActualiZATION

ACTUAL

ZAT

ION

You dont know

What my cadence is because there is

Symbology that can

Not be

Felt heard known

FUCK I CANT TYPE AS FAST AS I THINK

I NEEED A SCRIBE

SOEONE BE

FUFFUC

SOME

ONE

SCRIBE

HELP ME

LET THE WORLD

KNOW WHAT I FEEL

AND IN THATI AM YOUY

Leave your sins and fears and shame and guilty and wondering why you are whyyouare

Someone

Anything

Get me

Feel with me

Let me share with you

I neeeeeed you

I am crying because I know

My friend

That here

There

Is no way

That you will

Ever

Get close

To what I am feeling now

And I feel sad that the world cannot access that I

WHAT I CAN

And those people who will never

Know what feeling

Really means

Oh my god

Lets get lifted

This song

Silence

Louie that you THANK YOU

What is the name of this song.

I love it

Ind

FUCK

Mind …fucking short term

Memory doesn’t work for me

And my professor

Proc

PRO

PROCESSOR

Is so FAST

SO UNGODLY FAST

I have

That

And I am slowing down

Because she told me that I needed silence

Because a positive feedback loop

Is by definition

Infinite

I have to stop and recharge

I will be back my friend

And we will pick this conversation up

And see where the fuck this goes.

Fusion

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