In The Quiet Moments

My heart longs to be with your heart

To be in the home that we built together

Nuzzled with lazy snoring dogs

In the oasis we made together

But my heart is restless and seeking

And my path takes me to places new, exciting, and sometimes scary

And when I’m caught up in that whirlwind

Making things out of nothing

It is all that I want to do

My heart and my soul consumed by creating

Riches untold await

Slipstreaming into rarefied air

Rubbing shoulders with greatness

While using my shoulders to lift others

I have found love I did not know existed

Whether in his touch or laugh

Or the way he waits for me at the door

Signaling that I am at my limit

And need to recharge and settle my soul

Bringing much needed laughter, touch, and affection

Giving me hope that this isn't a fever dream

And most of the time I am on fire

The center of the party of my life

Yet in the quiet moments away from

Adoration adulation and articulation

Away from the beat, the sound, the words.

I am left with only me

And my thoughts

And they drift to the cost paid for my emergence

A cost so dear that I wonder if any journey is worth it

Asking myself if there could been another path

Could I have kept it all together and still surf those slipstreams

That I desperately want to master

Goodnight to those I love

As I once again cry myself to sleep

And wonder

If you are secure and safe and settled

And then I think, should I write this down?

Making art out of our collective pain

That's what artists do

Or is it something narcissists do?

I hope, in the end, that this will have been worth it

And I fear this will all come crumbling down

The dream of a selfish fool

Crying while the world laughs at my folly

Not out of embarrassment

But because I paid for it with a currency

That I cannot regain

And is more dear to me that I realized