top of page

Merry Merry Christmas

Merry merry Christmas

To the ones that I love

Safe and secure at home tonight

The home in my rear window sight

With its memories still warm and bright

Fresh in my mind and heart and might

You always have been my true north

And I carry your memories within me

And I wish you the best Noel

Warmed by the fire and your hearts

Smiling and laughing with my empty chair

And I would do anything to be there

Except the one thing my soul cannot bear

For me to be inauthentically there

And I sit here with my sad wistful stare

In a bathroom under a stair

In a neighborhood white people don’t dare

With my other family making magic from air

Wishing I could unplug my care

And I long to be present under that tree

Surprise! it was only a dream it ok

I’m the same dad you’ve always had

Better I hope and not that bad

Not like past my previous facade

And I hope my stocking was hung with care

Indicating that maybe you want me there

Unfortunately that man was never in that chair

His promises and dreams just air

With his 1000 yard stare

Not knowing that he was kind of queer

Wrapped up as a koala bear

But I have a new path that beckons me

An expansion of my true family

love and joy that I never knew before

Nothing lasts for ever anymore

I gave you the best I could muster

I wish it could have lasted two years longer

And so my little drummer girl

My female indie blend

My smart aleck sander much younger and better then me son

And the woman who is the love of me

And who rescued me more than I ever will know

As I head out into the silent night

Sure of our oh so future flight

Giving and sharing our inner light

Because real and honest is right

Know that on this Christmas Day

And for every other single day

I love you more than myself

And I’m sorry I’ll be home for Christmas

If only in my dreams

Merry Christmas to my family

Merry Christmas to yours

Merry Christmas to the ones that used to be

And still have the chance to be

Because no matter what you believe

Christmas is really about salvation

Away in that manger of roots

that cradled and created you

So wherever your home is you are

Even if your spirit is there from afar

Just remember merry Christmas too

Merry Christmas from my heart to you

236 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Trigger warning - Today I write about suicidal thoughts. I have the ability to feel emotions that I choose to feel or explore. Especially the darker ones. I can create an emotional space and explore/w

There are still days when I panic wondering what have I done Days when I desperately miss you And wrestle with self doubt and guilt A day like today With the sun shining on my back Wishing I could hol

bottom of page