Where are his teeth?
No explanation needed for this poem. It is pretty clear.
The pain was unbearable
My 5 year old body slammed into the floorboard
Of my father’s Chevy Nova
As he drove into the truck
Head on
With speed
The pain was so excruciatingly unbearable
That I do not remember it at all
Except when I think about it and what it must have been like
I begin to shake and tremble
And cry uncontrollable
Recently I am able to feel sound
And apparently emotion
As I feel flashes of intense pain in my face
When I think of the accident
But I don’t really remember it
What I do remember
Sorry…give me a minute…
What I..
(Breathe)
What I do re--
(Oww)
What I do remember
Is the blood running down my father’s face
Pouring from his head
And me shaking him
telling him to wake up
Please wake up
Please daddy
Wake
Up
Please
Pleeeeeease
DADDY
WAKE
UP
Don’t be
DADDY
DON’T BE DEAD
DAAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYY
WAAAAAAKE UUUUP
And he didn’t move
And he didn’t say anything
And the sirens
And the broken glass
And the impact mark on the windshield
Where my father hit his head
I remember talking to someone
Or I think I was talking
I don’t know how I was talking
Because they could not find my teeth
And it wasn’t until they got to the hospital
That they found them
Jammed into my head
The only reason he wasn’t arrested
On the spot
Because this was in Germany
Where they take drunk driving very seriously
The only reason he wasn’t arrested
Was his trunk had cases of alcohol
To take to the other military families
So the scene reeked of liquor
So they didn't test him
My mother tells me I was hysterical
And thought he was dead
And would not believe anyone who said otherwise
Back then children were seen and not heard
Especially in Deutschland
But I was hysterical
And I mom blistered the hospital staff to let me see him
And they relented
But I don’t remember that
What I do remember
Is that I always been unseen
And unheard
By my father
Unless I pick up the phone
And say daddy pick up
Please daddy
Talk with me
He won’t say anything
Or make any move to get closer to me
It took me 50 years after that accident
To actually feel anger about it
And it took a therapist to tell me
Steve, this is trauma
And you should stop making excuses for him
I now have children of my own
Almost grown
And at times I have been distant
Stuck in the mire of my own depression
But never once
Have they had to shake me
To try to get me to talk with them